I really shouldn’t be online. I should be preparing lessons. But I’ve just had eight hours of teaching and duties without a break and my energy level has crashed a little, since I had a similar day yesterday and will have two more exactly like that tomorrow and the day after.
I have discovered the genius of internet grocery shopping, which enables me to have fresh ingredients shipped straight to my door without having to lug them home in plastic bags. I made a chicken noodle soup this evening as a blatant escapist activity and yesterday I made some tomato sauce from scratch for lots of lovely linguine. It was delicious and alliteration is addictive when you are as tired and washed out as I am now.
Which brings me to the point of my logging back online, which was this picture, which was posted by the Itec (Steve Saint) facebook page… go ahead and “like” them, they are just wonderful!
And the song that picked me up this evening: Moriah Peters’ Sing in the Rain
And when I was walking to school this morning? Lugging my silly purple wheelie suitcase full of books and books and more books? When I wanted to sit down on the pavement and cry out loud instead of putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking towards school? This line:
It is good to proclaim your unfailing love in the morning,
your faithfulness in the evening
Psalm 92:2 NLT
Why the distinction between unfailing love in the morning and faithfulness in the evening? Because it is in the morning that I need to actively remind myself that God’s love to me is unfailing, and He will be as good to me today as He was yesterday and the day before. It’s in the morning that I dread the worst and worry the most, so it is in the morning that I need to meditate on the fact that God’s love is unfailing.
In the evening, I can breathe a sigh of relief and count my blessings (hours till I have to face the lions again!). In the evening it is easier for me to proclaim the faithfulness He has shown to me today. But the morning…
So this morning as I plodded and pulled, I said over and over and over, sometimes aloud: Your love is unfailing, your love is unfailing, your love is unfailing. And then I made myself list out all the ways that He is showing His unfailing love to me. And as I was turning the corner off Red Oaks Drive onto the main road to the school, I realised that maybe this horrible place of fighting to remember His goodness is the best place for me to be. And that occasionally leaning on the everlasting arms isn’t all that comfortable, sometimes it is a battle of will and sheer determination to stay there. Consciously leaning on Him for support takes muscle and decision, it’s not as passive as I had thought before.
This ramble is mainly for my own benefit, to record what He showed me today so I don’t forget it.